So many ways to have good clean fun…

Ok, so this past Thanksgiving we got a dog.  She is a sweet, cuddly, happy, and INCREDIBLY rambunctious dog.  I have no idea what breed she is, but shes a sweetheart nonetheless.

  Now, the problem that I’m having is this, no matter how recently shes eaten, no matter the treats I give her, no matter what I say, the minute I leave she scatters the trash across the entire house.  I mean seriously, I never knew just how much trash could be in a half full can.  I try to take it out every time we leave, but when I forget?…. lets just say that she believes in that Zoolander fashion… what was it?  “Gar’Bage”?

Anyway, the worst part is shes about 2 1/2 and we got her from the pound.  Her previous owner/s most likely abandoned her since Lied (the animal shelter) found her in a field with no tags/collar/chip.  As such, when we picked her up we became her saviors… and she treats us like them.  If either me or my girlfriend go to the bathroom, she follows us, to make sure we dont leave, if I take a shower she will push aside the curtain so I can’t escape, if I go into another room she follows so I don’t run away.  I swear, if she were human I would be considering a restraining order.

So, because of her incredibly needy/psychotic nature when I punish her you would think her world had cracked open and dumped her into the abyss.  She will hover and watch me for signs that I’m not mad at her anymore at which point she’ll come bounding over in bliss that the love of her life has decided she’s worthy once more (you think im exaggerating don’t you? HA!) and proceed to be as loving as she can possibly be.  At least until I leave again, at which point it rinses and repeats.

Also, I swear to God this dog’s tail is a lethal weapon.  Its as hard as a Shinai, about 2 feet long, and she wags it so hard she cuts herself on the walls.  Seriously, around my house I have spots of blood from her cutting her tail on the wall, and then continuing to wag it,  thus splattering/smearing blood in a strangely artistic manner at random intervals, all about 2-3 feet off the ground.  Could she be a reincarnated impressionist?  WHO KNOWS?

Oh well, I’m trying to figure out what to do about her trashcan diving, I dont want a new trash can that she can’t get into, I want her to stop of her own volition, but I’m not quite sure how to instil “values” in a dog.  

Oh well,  I guess my real new years resolution should be this.  ” I resolve to take the time (patiently) to teach my dog to behave (without firearms) I resolve to teach her to calm down when asked (without using a whip) and to behave properly when I’m gone (without locking her in a dungeon) Finally I resolve to take the time to teach her properly, and not to get upset (much) when she messes up.   

Happy New Year!

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